【Coaching】 I am on a training to be a coach

Why Coaching?

I think Coaching skill is a must for climber development.

Top-down "teaching" is, at best, one person teaching one climber, and it is impossible for an old climbers to teach modern climbing because climbing today is different from climbing in their time.

People are too lazy to teach a new climber to be,  so they will say, "What? You don't know how to use the climbing anchor? OK, I'll leave the carabiner here."

What is really needed is coaching to support people who are already self-taught and grow on their own.

I myself am mostly self-taught. I am also self-taught in snow mountaineering, which is why I was able to move on to the training at a mountaineering center and get a climbing mentor from the start...

The way Coach talk.

I'm currently learning how to coach people.

I think this is very similar to what I learnt naturally when I was a child... I'm learning how to listen first, and second, how NOT to be in denial.

Listening, non-denial, and acceptance the other person's values, is the key.

I already do all of them. Especially 3, I overdid it and it backfired.

You could say that's why I had a terrible time... (laughs).

I wanted to summaries what happened to me, according to this communication method...

Coaching case study in my climbing & trauma 

C: "What is the meaning of climbing for you?"

ME: "I see climbing as an activity that pushes me to my limits, with a solid risk management.

My way of life is the same.

I have never been fooled by (generalized assumptions) or (preconceptions), but have (calmly calculated specific risks) and if I think it is safe, I have done it (no matter what other people say).

For example, at the age of 20, I went abroad to work, even though I only had 20,000 yen in cash in my wallet.

I also managed my own risks in the same way when I went to university, also found a job during the ice age, and the both were a success. It wasn't about walking on the rails laid down by adults or your parents..."

C: "How do people around you react to that?"

ME: "They label me a coward for managing risk in climbing.

For example, they tell me to 'fall, fall' on a 40-year-old cut anchors. I was educated that anyone who climbs with such bolts with easy falls is a fool. But over here [in Kyushu], people don't seem to think so. They admire boldness without thinking."

C: "What state of mind are you in then?"

ME: "I feel very, very bad, like I'm being denied not only my climbing, but also myself.

And I feel like I want to run away from them as soon as possible, because I think they don't understand anything about the nature of climbing.

And in some cases, it becomes a traumatic panic attack. This is because, in principle, reason tells you that you are in danger of certain death.

I was once dropped into a swimming pool by my father when I was a baby, apparently, and the images started coming back to me... Even though I didn't remember it at all. I haven't seen my father since I was six years old, so much so that I don't even remember his face, but then I started to have flashbacks of those images...'

C: "When exactly do you get into that state of mind?"

ME: "It's when I'm partnered with a younger man who wants to be cool, who thinks it's climbing to brag about his recklessness.

Especially when that partner is smirking in front of the risk.

It's like I subconsciously overlap with my brother. My brother died at the young age of 24. I may not have finished feeling remorse or grief about my brother's death yet.

At the same time, I started to have recurrent fears about my father putting me in mortal danger."

C: "When you have a trauma panic attack, what do you do other than what you should be doing?"

ME: " I become very aggressive and pointy. I point out the wrong behaviour, I try to correct that, and I try to detail what exactly is wrong, and I use up a lot of energy and I become very tired. So I can not do what I should be doing. To the extent that it interferes with my daily life.

I am so mentally trapped that I have even developed depression.

Also, if I die under such bad provocation, will they understand if I die? Will these people understand what they are doing wrong if they kill someone like me? Will they be able to reflect on what they are doing wrong? I almost feel like I am responsible about making them realize about that wrong doings.  In fact, I was once dropped by my belayer and got seven stitches in my head.

I want to prove how wrong is the guy. I am driven by that thought...

I know that provocation is a stupid thing to do, and I try never to get into it, though.

I am the eldest daughter, so I have a lot of trust about the world, and because of that trust, I am unguarded and careless sometimes. I trust people too much.

I find myself being taken advantage of by other climbers. For example, my climbing partner were using my new rope in his own serious try, before I use it myself, without asking me. You get turned into a second for a multi that he can not properly lead... I mean like, rope was not up...

When I led Hiei, I was with a famous long-established alpine club, but the belayer was belaying another climber while I was leading.... It's an impossible folly.

Normally, I would have shouted at him, "You're killing me!" but he was an older man and I couldn't shout at him. Maybe there is some kind of prohibition due to Confucian education.

After all, I'm haunted by the bad experience and can't work on what I should be working on... my life..."

C: "What kicks you into doing it?"

ME: "When I see climbing with zero risk management, climbing that I don't want to. but made to. Or when I look back years later and realize how dangerous that climb was.

You have to put everything else in your life ahead of yourself and put this wrong climbing in the right direction! I feel like I have to put this wrong climbing in the right direction! I feel as if I am responsible for correcting the mistakes.

Hmmm, is this a reenactment of the responsibility I carried as a child, on behalf of my mother, towards my siblings?"

C: "What are your own challenges to your goals?"

ME: 'Climbing is my hobby, so it's about making sure that my hobby doesn't take over my life.'

C: "What are your own challenges in regards to your goal, which is to take back your life?"

ME: "It's about overcoming these obstacles... these provocations by reckless climbers, calling me a coward, etc...

It's about getting past the reckless climbers, connecting with people who are climbing properly, and spreading the true value of climbing in Japan, which is mainly safety oriented climbing, as civil climbing... climbing that can be enjoyed by the general public, not just the top climbers.

As for getting my life back, I think it would only be possible if I could get my job back.

I am flexible about my job. I used to be a software engineer, so I could use my previous job if I wanted to work, or I could work as a translator or teach yoga.

I am interested in developing a risk management-centered climbing education that combines coaching methods with climbing education, but that is a distant goal...

Above all, I feel a sense of crisis that climbing in Japan has fallen into a special type of climbing that is far removed from global trends and aims to promote recklessness.

As an international human resource who speaks English, I have a strong desire to correct such things.

I have not always felt good about Confucian cultural values... that one should not go against the older generation, that women should stand behind the men, etc.

I want a self-realisation to be all-important for men and women, young and old.

In doing so, they should 

(not be misled by the opinions of others), 

(assess the risks for themselves) and 

(if they feel it is okay, go ahead and trust themselves). 

I think climbing is the perfect activity to develop this attitude."