■ Anger
I am angry with my ex climbing partner who disgraced my climbing experience by his ego. Before him, my climbing experience was beautiful.
He was trying to get "respect" from the climbers in Kyusyu, so he wanted to climb the "Hakua Slub" to show off how he is brave but no one really wanted to do his follow climber because he was new in the place, so he asked me to do his follow, and I felt sorry for him back then. It was a thing of the place.
Kyusyu is my hometown and it brings my bittner memory of my dead young brother.
Anyway, we are almost dead in that climbing.
Because he skipped the climbing anchor, connected 2 pitches, 25 m and 35 m pitch, which equals to 60 m when we only had one 50m rope. It was his laziness made him skip the anchor.
Bringing just one rope is nono. but understandable when you are really confident.
But connecting two pitches more than a rope length is just a stupidness.
I was shocked that such immaturity in his personality could be possible... and this incident became an image of my dad pushing me toward water and laughing at me while I was drown... this flashback image was long forgotten in my life, it occurred at age 2 before I acquired language skill as a human..
As I retrospect, this image became overwhelmingly big, I started to feel like everyone of the climbers who come up to me is trying to kill me noticing my innocence.
So now I am very very angry of him and what had happened.
This anger went toward inside of me became depression. A depression is a form of anger made into instead of out...
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